A trigger can give rise to a pattern -- sometimes a pattern that can lead to regret. That first fun-size Snickers can set off a cycle of bingeing that ends only when the bag is empty. The mad dash to get out of the house in the morning generates a cycle of rushing -- turning your drive to work into an Evil Knievel-like exercise that leaves you anxious and exhausted before the workday even starts. If you want to stop [...]
An ongoing lesson for me is that when someone I know – who is reasonably bright, fair and rational – suggests something foreign to my beliefs, I give it some measure of serious thought, instead of searching for ways to support or bolster my own biases.
... your office space, or maybe even a room or two in your home. Are there art objects, photos, mementos, music which is motivating and uplifting? Or has the area become a repository for accumulated stuff which is stacked everywhere? Maybe worth remembering -- your surroundings can support you… or bring you down. Feeling fulfilled is a lot about control of your own environment.
Each and every one of us knows this – from experience, and for sure, from good old common sense. Are the reactions of the naysayers weighing on you? If yes, what to do about it? How do you respond? It doesn’t do any good at all to know that you can’t please everyone and not proceed to use that knowledge to do your best work for those you can please.
Here's the difference between time and money... You can't bank time and you can't decline to spend it... somehow. So, either you're spending your time, or it's spending you.
This happens in a couple of ways. First, we avoid being clear and definitive about what the mission actually is by steering away from the specifics of what we want to accomplish. If we don't know what the mission actually is, it's easier to tolerate failure if we don't succeed. Second, we devalue the urgency of acting on the mission by becoming distracted, turning to anything to avoid saying "I did this." It's less exhausting to just get down to [...]
There was supposed to be a singer at your milestone birthday party, but he didn't show up. That's a downer. But... all of your invited friends showed up, it's a gorgeous evening, the caterer didn't miss a beat and the cake and ice cream look delectable. So, how long should you bemoan the singer's absence? How much longer should you not enjoy your party because this happened? Will bathing in it make a difference? What we've got here is a [...]
All of us, at one time or another encounter obstacles that we can't seem to circumvent, outmaneuver or just smash our way through. Whether these are business-related, relationship-oriented or figuring out how to stay in shape, if we haven't moved around them within a reasonable time-frame, chances are we're not going to do so. This is not the time to unleash our ego and pride by battering our heads against the obstacle. Instead, it's time to identify a learned other [...]
So we're about 3 weeks removed from the pap that the media serves up without fail as the calendar turns to January. And it's always the same -- losing weight, getting better organized, exercising more. It's not only very tired and quite boring, but it's presented as if it is some kind of breakthrough information beyond our power to figure out without "expert" help. Of course, it's not. Because... We already know what we need to do. We may be in denial [...]
Conflating authenticity with "I've gotta be me" may not be such a good idea, because being authentic doesn't mean doing what we feel like doing when we feel like doing it. We're authentic when we're consistent, when we behave the same way whether there are cameras in the hallway or not, when our actions intersect with the promises we've made. Being authentic is being a pro, even when that little voice in our head is whispering it is okay to [...]
