Miscellaneous

Step I: Learning how to do it. This step involves the basic mechanics of studying and then acquiring the necessary tools, equipment and technology for whatever it is you want to learn for the first time. In this phase, you’re gaining insight, starting to understand how it works and beginning to develop the technique you need to get good at it. Step II: This is where you turn it into something you do habitually. Committing to regular practice, honing technique [...]

Someday. That’s pretty open-ended when it comes to getting started on something or setting goals that people claim they want to reach. Someday, why not now? This is the question I usually ask of clients who have all sorts of explanations and rationalizations for why they can’t act now, but can’t tell me when the time is right. They can’t confront their relationship issues; can’t begin a health regimen; can’t embark upon taking up that hobby they’ve so often dreamed [...]

I rarely work with a client who isn’t feeling guilty about something and I routinely hear the voice of guilt coming from the mouths of friends, colleagues and family members. So what are the origins of guilt? We’re certainly not born with it as we all enter the world powerless in need of the care of others, and have done nothing wrong. We’re simply innocent at this stage. As we age and experience the world though, we gain insight about [...]

But you do. You know enough to know that you’re not knowledgeable enough yet about what you’re embarking upon, seeking or desire to learn. It’s much more likely that you don’t know the last thing. And because you’re not knowledgeable enough, you know enough to know to be wary of possible pitfalls, traps and roadblocks in your path, influencing you to tread lightly and cautiously. You know enough to know that you might need to reach out for help, consultation [...]

By vulnerable, I don’t mean weak, needy or unable to handle our own affairs. I mean making the voluntary decision to mention a failure, mistake, setback, or poor choice to others within our circle of trust. I believe that the more we do this – the more we drop the pride act and ask for help – the faster we learn and the faster we can move toward corrective action so that we don’t commit the error again. This doesn’t [...]

...because it takes all the pressure off of having to do the endless rewrites and tweaks. It alleviates the stress of having to find just the perfect word or product or service that will be indisputably captivating to whomever you intend your work to reach. And even if you’re not shipping your work elsewhere, you no longer have to live in fear of what’s not quite right, because you’ve concluded perfection is impossible, and for sure, not everyone will be [...]

Might it be possible that your client, employee, friend or spouse misunderstood you – or you misunderstood them? What just happened feels horrible to you, and if it was done on purpose, it makes it all the worse. But before you burn the bridges and boats and scorch the earth, leaving ruin in your wake, take a moment and ask “what if something was misunderstood?” It’s far easier to ask than to go through the arduous task of having to [...]