Category: Miscellaneous

The Learning Curve: Don’t Give Short-shrift To Step II

The Learning Curve: Don’t Give Short-shrift To Step II

Step I: Learning how to do it. This step involves the basic mechanics of studying and then acquiring the necessary tools, equipment and technology for whatever it is you want to learn for the first time. In this phase, you’re gaining insight, starting to understand how it works and beginning to develop the technique you […]

Denial

Denial

For sure, it’s one of the oldest and often practiced ego defense mechanisms. Denial is synonymous with refusal – that is, refusal to square our beliefs with truths we won’t accept. “He was so lucky to get that job, I’d be a far better choice.” (But he got it, didn’t he?) “She only won because […]

Principles Guiding My Psychotherapy Work

Principles Guiding My Psychotherapy Work

I’ve been doing psychotherapy for quite some time, and I have 3 principles to guide me: I’m acutely aware that people come to me for all sorts of reasons, but not all of them are associated with getting better. As such, they may not really want to be helped. Yes, change of any sort is […]

I’ll Get to It Someday

I’ll Get to It Someday

Someday. That’s pretty open-ended when it comes to getting started on something or setting goals that people claim they want to reach. Someday, why not now? This is the question I usually ask of clients who have all sorts of explanations and rationalizations for why they can’t act now, but can’t tell me when the […]

Giving Up Guilt – A Tonic for Personal Success

Giving Up Guilt – A Tonic for Personal Success

I rarely work with a client who isn’t feeling guilty about something and I routinely hear the voice of guilt coming from the mouths of friends, colleagues and family members. So what are the origins of guilt? We’re certainly not born with it as we all enter the world powerless in need of the care […]

I don’t know the first thing about this

I don’t know the first thing about this

But you do. You know enough to know that you’re not knowledgeable enough yet about what you’re embarking upon, seeking or desire to learn. It’s much more likely that you don’t know the last thing. And because you’re not knowledgeable enough, you know enough to know to be wary of possible pitfalls, traps and roadblocks […]

The Right Way to be Vulnerable

The Right Way to be Vulnerable

By vulnerable, I don’t mean weak, needy or unable to handle our own affairs. I mean making the voluntary decision to mention a failure, mistake, setback, or poor choice to others within our circle of trust. I believe that the more we do this – the more we drop the pride act and ask for […]

Embracing imperfection is the only way to go…

Embracing imperfection is the only way to go…

…because it takes all the pressure off of having to do the endless rewrites and tweaks. It alleviates the stress of having to find just the perfect word or product or service that will be indisputably captivating to whomever you intend your work to reach. And even if you’re not shipping your work elsewhere, you […]

Maybe there’s a misunderstanding

Maybe there’s a misunderstanding

Might it be possible that your client, employee, friend or spouse misunderstood you – or you misunderstood them? What just happened feels horrible to you, and if it was done on purpose, it makes it all the worse. But before you burn the bridges and boats and scorch the earth, leaving ruin in your wake, […]

Pessimism versus Optimism

Pessimism versus Optimism

The pessimist sees what’s happening today, but expects only an eventual drop-off. After all, the glass is already half empty, so it’s bound to develop a crack, with the contents eventually leaking out all over the place. The future is only going to get worse.