A couple of weeks ago I took on a client who has recently been downsized from his job. Since this happened, he has sent out resume after resume and has been called by a number of companies to come in for interviews. No offers yet. In our most recent session, it was obvious that he had been spending quite a bit of time reading between the lines as to why he hasn’t landed a job yet.

job_puzzle“I can’t figure out why I’m being rejected,” he stated. “You haven’t been rejected, you just haven’t been chosen yet,” I responded. Mustering up his insight he responded, “I suppose you’re right, actually the feedback I’ve received hasn’t told me much.”

Whenever we’re rejected (a proposal, a job,) people rarely say what they actually mean when they turn us away. It’s just not worth it to them to tell you you’ve just submitted an unintelligible proposal or presented yourself horribly in your job interview. And it’s not worth putting themselves in a position to get blowback, because there are other proposals and job candidates they can pursue.

In a nutshell: We can’t overanalyze someone’s intentions when we’re turned away. The words and/or tone of the rejection won’t provide clear direction for going forward, and it’s a colossal waste of time – time that could be better spent by forging ahead and doing something that will draw attention to us tomorrow. And if we really want to know why someone said “no” to us, we’d have to spend time dissecting them and their motives. How’s that for an exercise in futility, when the outcome would not likely change in our favor?