Fear that we experience day-to-day is most often imagined. This is because in the mostly civilized society in which we live and function, we’re not often confronted by imminent danger and threat – mobilizing the flight-or-flight response. So when fear arises in non-dangerous situations, the emotional sensations that result are perception-driven and not governed by any objective reality, as we’re not actually in harm’s way. 

irrational_fearFear makes people think they’re doing something. But really what’s happening is it’s a way not to seek control. So when you have no control, you feel helpless and that’s a potentially disastrous recipe.

So when you’re feeling fearful, you’ve got to substitute the fear for something within your control. You can go to the gym, call a friend or immediately go for a walk, among many other possibilities. Thus when you feel the trigger of the fear, you have now made a bargain with yourself that this is what you’re going to do instead of just feeling controlled by the fear. Also, pursue what’s happening before the fear sets in as this is likely a catalyst allowing it the space to set in and then consume you.

Control often gets a bad rap and deservedly so if we’re attempting to use it to our advantage over others. But when we have control over ourselves this builds resilience, which in turn shields us and arms us to more easily fight off future fears as they arise.