That No Good, Two-Timing Z%$@#!!!

That No Good, Two-Timing Z%$@#!!!

You’ve been double-crossed, conned and deceived by this jerk, and you’re thinking he deserves a full-throated thrashing, chock-full of biting comments together with a full dose of your enmity. Doing so is justifiable because you’ll feel better having evened the score, playing the retaliator role. But, how do you really benefit from toting around this […]

Denial

Denial

For sure, it’s one of the oldest and often practiced ego defense mechanisms. Denial is synonymous with refusal – that is, refusal to square our beliefs with truths we won’t accept. “He was so lucky to get that job, I’d be a far better choice.” (But he got it, didn’t he?) “She only won because […]

Worry

Worry

Worry happens when we focus too much on outcomes instead of process when it comes to doing or accomplishing something. It can emanate from general pessimism, a lack of confidence, past failures that were never resolved or concern with things outside of our control. To clear your deck of worry, do the following: Get a […]

By Doing It

By Doing It

Remember those home movies or photos of you learning how to walk ? You’d probably just turned age 1 or so, and you had no patience for just sitting around waiting to come of age — having fully figured out how to go about strutting your stuff across the room.  Instead, there you were on […]

What We Should Be Afraid Of

What We Should Be Afraid Of

We’re generally pretty good at finding people, things or circumstances to point to as demons when something isn’t working out so well. In the end though, the one who usually lets us down is the image staring back at us in the mirror. Whether it our reticence to commit, our inability to trust our true […]

Principles Guiding My Psychotherapy Work

Principles Guiding My Psychotherapy Work

I’ve been doing psychotherapy for quite some time, and I have 3 principles to guide me: I’m acutely aware that people come to me for all sorts of reasons, but not all of them are associated with getting better. As such, they may not really want to be helped. Yes, change of any sort is […]

But What If We’re Successful?

But What If We’re Successful?

Fear of failure is one of the most key reasons – if not the most key reason – for why we procrastinate, sell ourselves false promises, quit a project or just simply don’t show up for duty. Continuing to push through the fear can be quite the challenge. Fear of success though is at least […]

Dissatisfaction Comes First

Dissatisfaction Comes First

If you’re intent on creating something from scratch, launching some new effort, or for that matter, making something better than it already is, there’s going to be disappointment at first. This is because the challenges associated with getting started or up to speed are bound to be dissatisfying – when compared to what the project […]

There’s Still Time

There’s Still Time

I write often about decision-making in my blogs and articles; how it’s wise, I believe, not to dawdle when making them because rarely is a decision   something from which we can’t someway recover. But might there be exceptions? I got to thinking about bad decisions and what influences our doing so. Two reasons: We’re in […]

Who Do We Want To Be?

Who Do We Want To Be?

It’s true, we reap what we sow. Time and effort we invest is returned to us, with interest – although rates vary. If we practice a difficult piano piece 5 minutes a day, we’ll get better. If we spend the same amount of time per day dramatizing our life, feeling unhappy, entangled in fear and […]