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Relationships on June 26, 2009 with
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Here’s a question I hear often when doing counseling and the issue turns to relationships:
How do I continue to pursue a relationship with my significant other while at the same time retain my independence?
My answer is always the same:
You’re asking the wrong question! Why? In relationships, we either trade up or we trade down.
A better question to ask would be: What criteria should I establish for choosing my partner?
Those that choose partners consistent with the values and attributes most important to them in a mate will want their new, enriched life more than they want their old one, so retaining independence becomes irrelevant. It’s trading up, out with the old life in favor of a new, more fulfilling one. No sacrifice required. On the other hand, those that sense that they are trading down to be with someone means they haven’t yet found the right someone. In this instance, independence should be the only thing they’re pursuing.
Joseph Wegmann, R.Ph., LCSW is a licensed clinical pharmacist and a clinical social worker with more than thirty years of experience in the field of psychopharmacology. His diverse professional background in psychopharmacology and counseling affords him a unique perspective on medication management issues. In addition to consulting with numerous psychiatric facilities, he has presented psychopharmacology seminars to thousands of clinicians in 46 states.
Joe has also served as a Clinical Director of Pharmacy Services at a major metropolitan area hospital and as a Regional Director of Hospital Services for Premier Healthcare Corporation. He has served as Adjunct Professor of Psychopharmacology in the graduate School of Social Work at Southern University of New Orleans for 16 years and maintains an active psychotherapy practice specializing in the treatment of depression and anxiety. Joe is the author of Psychopharmacology: Straight Talk on Mental Health Medications, published by PESI, Inc.